The Kansas City Chiefs: Where Pride & Satisfaction Tread Too Closely To The Salary Cap

In reviewing the NFL's 2008 Free Agency selections you will find a list of many teams who have made several signings in the past month with the hopes of improving their team next year. What you may NOT find is an abundance of the word “Chiefs” in the ‘2008 Team” column of the chart. That’s because Carl Peterson, the CEO and General Manager of the Chiefs, who in 2007 were 4-12 (their worst year, since the strike-shortened 1987 season) and had the league’s 31st-ranked offense (that of 32 teams for the NFL-impaired) has decided that instead of improving the Chiefs offense via signing free-agent players with proven talent, they’re rebuilding “through the draft.”

Now, I totally understand the mentality of wanting to "go young" and start fresh. But the Chiefs are currently 18 MILLION under the salary cap. The largest gap of any team currently in the NFL. Yet the Chiefs have been afraid to open their wallet ever since the Joe Montana “fiasco.” What fiasco you ask? Well, lets face it: What did Joe Montana ever give back to the Chiefs? A successful offense? Their first playoff win in over 20 years? A trip to the AFC Championship? Well…yes. But before you get excited, Carl, settle down and remember that hometown pride runs costly these days. If you sign people like Montana again, you may have to raise the price of your season tickets and parking passes…oh wait, you do that anyway. Every year since 1993 (the LAST time the Chiefs won a playoff game) it has cost Chiefs fans more and more to come watch them lose when it counts and ruin everything.

Anyway, back to the present: We sit here now with what was technically the 5th worst team in the 2007 NFL season (in terms of our 2008 draft pick), and all this money that they’re not going to spend because they want to build the team through the draft? There’s nothing wrong with having good foresight to draft excellent players, but to think they can completely rebuild without some veterans is preposterous. Especially when they have the cash to spend.

Now I will give the Chiefs a little credit (before I take it all away again). They have signed THREE players this year, and I’ll go through them one-by-one:

FREE AGENT #1
Devard Darling – Wide Receiver – Baltimore Ravens:

Now, this halfway makes sense. The Chiefs are DESPERATE in Wide Receiver category. Especially after letting go of Eddie Kennison who served us well, but quite frankly is TOO old…and should retire with grace and respect. But I have two problems with this pick:

1. Why sign a receiver from the 22nd-ranked offense of the NFL? When you’re number 31, you might want to make some picks from the top ten, and not from the middle of the pack.

And…

2. Who the hell is Devard Darling?

I suppose since I’m not familiar with him, I can’t trash him too hard, but I’m going to anyway. Seriously…who the hell is Devard Darling?

FREE AGENT #2
Demorrio Williams – Linebacker - Atlanta Falcons

One thing I will give Herman Edwards credit for is that while the Chiefs defense was on a brink somewhere between “high-school-grade” and “The Laugh Factory” five years ago, it has recently turned around and become very respectable within the last two years. But they have a hard time winning games for the Chiefs when they’re on the field for 50 minutes, and have no score to fight for. However, the recent improvement was in no small part due to our Linebacker corps. Most notably Derrick Johnson and Kawika Mitchell. So what did they do in 2007? They traded Kawika Mitchell to the Giants. They got Donnie Edwards (which was a GOOD move…if only they would sign OFFENSIVE players of that caliber THIS year), and replaced Kawika with Napoleon Harris. Mitchell didn’t seem to notice, as he was busy WINNING THE SUPER BOWL two months ago. So WHY do they need ANOTHER linebacker? Particularly when our defense has it’s biggest holes in the secondary (Cornerback, anyone)? While they’re busy worrying about our somewhat-respectable-to-overtly-talented linebackers, I’m worried about OUR ENTIRE OFFENSE. Why isn’t the money being spent there? And who the hell is Devard Darling?

FREE AGENT #3
Billy Cundiff – Kicker – Unsigned

So in 2006 they had Lawrence Tynes. He missed an extra point in the playoffs that year and deserved to be shunned for it. Also he’s from Scotland, which I always thought was a bit shady. But for the most part he did what was asked of him. He wasn’t the best kicker in the league by a long shot, but he got the job done. So what did they do? They traded Lawrence Tynes to the Giants. Who did they get in return? Why, only the NCAA’s SECOND BEST kicker (seriously, they passed up their BEST kicker because he didn’t go to a school that Carl liked). Justin Medlock is the Chiefs biggest draft bust since Jeff Webb, who was the biggest draft bust since, Kris Wilson, who was the biggest draft bust since Boomer Grigsby, who was the biggest draft bust since Junior Siavvi, who was the biggest draft bust since Julian Battle, who was the biggest draft bust since Ryan Simms who was…never mind…the important thing to note there is that I only covered a five-year period. Anyway, Medlock was a bust, so they replaced him after one game. One horrible, shitty, embarrassing game. He was replaced with Dave Rayner who proceeded to be a good, reliable kicker who gave us confidence…for four weeks. Then he started doing something that sucked. Don’t ask me what, because I have no clue what happened. Regardless, they replaced him with our THIRD kicker of 2007: John Carney.
Now while Carney is a old-timer veteran kicker and one I have much respect for, he is probably best remembered as “The Guy Who Missed The Extra Point” in 2003, putting the Saints out of playoff contention in what would have otherwise sealed one of the greatest final plays in NFL history. I digress, a perfect fit for the Chiefs. Meanwhile, as the rest of us were left to wonder if they would have to sign a FOURTH kicker in 2007, and on top of that, who the hell Devard Darling was, Lawrence Tynes certainly didn’t have time to concern himself with such things. He was busy KICKING THE GAME-WINNING FIELD GOAL IN THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP THAT TOOK THE GIANTS TO THE SUPER BOWL (which they proceeded to win…making all of their provided extra points in the process).

So, while the Chiefs front office has been working overtime signing all THREE of these players (let’s hope they managed to squeeze a lunch break in there somewhere), no one has seemed to notice that the Chiefs offensive line has the matching potency of acid-soaked tissue paper passing through a lawn dart. So who had some offense linemen up for free agency this year? Only the Indianapolis Colts and Pittsburgh Steelers…the 2007 Post-season’s 1st and 4th-ranked offense, respectively. Now, obviously these teams are going to guard these linemen from leaving with the same amount of intensity that the linemen themselves use to protect their quarterback (sorry, that analogy wasn’t near as entertaining), but what baffles me is that the Chiefs didn’t even TRY to get any of these guys.

So what’s the point I’m making? Two years ago the Kansas City Royals – one of the more recent laughing stocks of Major League Baseball – hired a new General Manager. One who wasn’t afraid to open his wallet a little. Two years later, three games into the regular season they are the MLB’s only undefeated team, and they look good. While it’s obviously too early to tell if it’s a sign of anything to come, it certainly speaks volumes about the need for new team management. New management who make clear, concise, well-thought-out judgments based on logic and reasoning. Yes, of course I’m talking about Batman.

With Batman as our new General Manager we can be sure that the Chiefs will fight each game with pride and confidence. And with Batman’s alter-ego Bruce Wayne at the helm, they have the civic and political connections to make the right trades for a fair amount of money. The mere fact that I suggested Batman before any of you guys did is what makes me smarter than you. And for the record, I'm talking about the Michael Keaton Batman. I mean, If they're just going to get George Clooney again, don't even bother.

So there: Crunch the numbers: Batman + GM + 2008 = 16-0