Inglorious Basterds: A Historic Look at Nazi Scalp Hunters...

    Quentin Tarantino is back with a new script and it's the most bat shit crazy thing you've probably ever read. The title of said script is "Inglorious Basterds," and yes, he does spell bastads wrong but probably intentionally... although the rest of the script is full of similar misspellings. Everyone refers to this script as being 'much anticipated' and when you read it you certainly get the impression that is was crazy rushed. I didn't read the Kill Bill scripts so I don't know if this is just Tarantino's 'style' or if he's just too lazy to spell check hit shit. As the title of this post will tell you, this script is about Nazi scalp hunters, which is to say people who take the scalps from Nazis, not scalp hunters who happen to be Nazis. Not that one of those makes a whole lot more sense than the other, but whatever.

    Tarantino's films are rip offs inspired by genres that he enjoyed growing up. Kill Bill for example was a rip off of inspired by Japanese Samurai-revenge movies from the 70s. Inglorious Basterds seems to be a ripped off inspired by the Dirty Dozen and Kelly's Heroes. The protagonist is Lieutenant Aldo Raine, aka Aldo the Apache, a blood thirsty commando that puts together a crack team of Jewish misfits to go on a black-ops style mission behind enemy lines. It should be noted that Aldo the Apache comes from the smokey mountains of Tennessee. The plot plays very fast and very loose with history to say the least...

    In the first chapter of the movie we'll meet Shosanna, a teenage Jewish girl who's family was killed by the Nazis. She "escapes" from the Nazis only to manage a movie theater in Paris, which is under Nazi occupation. We follow her story as it leads up to the big premier of Goebbel's new propaganda film. It's like he ripped this story straight from the pages of a history book... </sarcasm> In all fairness though you don't go into a movie like Kill Bill or Pulp Fiction expecting a hyper realistic docu-drama.

    The script is broken into five chapters:

• Chapter 1: Once Upon a Time ... Nazi Occupied France - This is where we are introduced to the teenage Jewish girl who manages the theater.
• Chapter 2: Inglorious Basterds - This will be the Dirty Dozen rip off inspired recruitment part of the movie where we meet all the misfit Jewish special forces and Aldo the Apache.
• Chapter 3: German Night in Paris - This is where the teenage Jewish heroine formulates her plan for the Goebbel movie premier.
• Chapter 4: Operation Kino - Aldo's Jewish Nazi scalp hunters arrive and tear shit up...
• Chapter 5: Revenge of the Giant Face - I wouldn't want to spoil it...

    As absolutely bad as this script seems, I'm still looking forward to this movie. I enjoyed the Dirty Dozen and, who knows, maybe Tarantino's rip off movie inspired by this classic will be good. After all, I've enjoyed Kill Bill and his other movies. If I'd read that script before seeing the movie I'd probably had thought similarly about it. I just hope someone shows this guy how to run spell check...

• My name is Lt. Aldo Raine, and I’m putting together a special team. And I need me eight soldiers. Eight – Jewish – American – Soldiers. Now y’all might have heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leavin a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwackin’ guerilla army, we’re gonna be doin one thing, and thing only, Killin Nazi’s. The members of the Nationalist Socialist Party, have conquered Europe through murder, torture, intimidation, and terror. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do to them. Now I don’t know about y’all. But I sure as hell, didn’t come down from the goddamn smoky mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half Sicily, and then jump out of a fuckin air-o-plane, to teach the Nazi’s lessons in humanity. Nazi ain’t got no humanity. There the foot soldiers of a Jew hatin, mass murderin manic, and they need to be destroyed. That’s why any and every son-of-a-bitch we find wearin a Nazi uniform, there gonna die. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty, they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty, in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heals, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans, will be sickened by us. And the Germans, will talk about us. And the Germans, will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night, and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they’ve done, it will be with thoughts of us, that it tortures them with. But I got a word of warning to all would be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me, personally. Every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred Nazi’s or you will die trying.