The XXIX Olympiad: Who Cares?

    Serious, swimming and volleyball? I can barely sit through an NBA game, why would I want to watch an all-star American team crush the national hopes of Lithuania, Japan and the Ivory Coast? It just seems like there isn't any competition there. How about the weightlifting competition? Yawn... Gymnastics? Nope... Uh, track and field? There is a reason they only air this crap once every four years, it's boring. I'm just glad the Olympics take place in the summer when there is better stuff to do. The Winter Olympics aren't so bad, it's like a legitimate version of the X-Games... but with figure skating. Oh well, at least the games only last a couple weeks.

Here are a few of the more important things going on:

• [1]
• Russia pretty much conquers Georgia [2](the country, not the state)
• Toronto exploded... [3]
• Bernie Mac died [4]
• Isaac Hayes died [5]

Well, those last two aren't really more important than the Olympics, but whatever...